First Trimester with Baby McChesney!

It’s finally over, and I survived! Today marked the last day of my first trimester… AMEN! Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant, but man the first 12 weeks have been rough! Here is the pleasant, and some not so pleasant wrap up of my first trimester:

-          Week 3 – positive pregnancy test! I was so excited I cried then called Dave and my mommy. I texted my sisters, my sister-in-law, and my mother-in-law. Seeing that pink plus sign was the most glorious thing after trying for over 1 year!

-          Exhaustion set in... MAJORLY! I could not keep my eyes open. There were multiple nights Dave would get home around 6:30 and I would hit the hay for the night. Thank you to my supportive husband for letting me sleep. My 1 hour “workout” time after work turned into 1 hour nap time, I was in bed by 8 every night, and still staying awake through the day was a STRUGGLE!

-          Nausea set in… kind of ½ bad, but still not pleasant in any way shape or form. The second, and I mean the second my stomach was remotely empty I got this awful nauseous feeling. I NEVER got sick; even though sometimes I wished I could just get sick and be done with it! So, I ate… eating seemed to make everything better because my stomach never had the chance to get empty. This is probably why I gained as much weight I did!

-          Week 8 – first ultrasound…. It’s a healthy baby measuring 8 weeks 3 days (exactly what I had calculated). Due date is November 4, 2013. And everyone is excited; Hope’s only stipulation is that he/she can’t be born on her birthday (October 27^th)!

-          Week 12 – Belly POP! I went from not looking pregnant at all to looking 5 months pregnant over night! I guess what “they” say is right… with the second you start to show WAY earlier!

-          Week 12 – started to wear maternity clothes. Yes, I can probably squeeze into my non-maternity wear, but why squeeze? Why sit uncomfortably when I have these fabulous pants that expand?

-          Week 12 – Shared the baby news with Charlie! He is very excited and asks lots of questions. He also tells EVERYONE that “there is a baby in my mommy’s tummy.”

-          Week 12 – Inventory of baby clothes. I took my clip board, along with a spreadsheet and inventoried all of the baby clothes we have before a HUGE consignment sale started on April 25^th. If we have a boy, we will not have to buy ANYTHING… there is so much there! If we have a girl we are pretty much starting from scratch!

Everyone seems to think it’s a girl (even Charlie), except my father. He seems to be pretty confident that it is a boy.  

Trimester 1 –

Weight Gain: + 5 pounds - eeek... I hope this does not set the scene for weight gain through the rest of the pregnancy!

Cravings: Food, just food in general. Mostly carbs and crunchy stuff.

Name Options Discussed: Boy – Henry (really the only one being discussed right now), and Girl – Ava, Zoe, Lila, lots of others because we have NO idea what we would name a girl!

And finally, my baby belly on the last day of my first trimester –

Call me Daddy

Recently, Charlie began calling Dave, “Dave.” At first I was not ok with it; a 3 year old should call his daddy, “daddy.” Dave didn’t really have a problem with it and even thought it was kind of funny. Of course we disagreed; there are few things we agree on. Usually I talk him into agreeing with me… ha, no I am just joking. We have civilized, constructive conversations where each of us listens to each other’s interests and in the end… Dave agrees with meJ! Or gives up, whichever, the result is usually the same!

I have been thinking about how to approach this with Charlie and what the conversation might look like. This got me thinking… why should he call Dave “daddy”? Does he really HAVE to? Should he really HAVE to? Does tradition and the rules of respect mean that he has to call him “dad” or “daddy”? He’s calling him by his first name, I don’t think it’s dis-respectful. Now, if he were walking around calling Dave “poopy head” we would have a problem… a funny problem, but a problem. I want to be called “mommy” because I feel so blessed to be a mommy I want to be called it for as long as my baby will call me it, and it feels so good to be someone’s mommy! When you ask Charlie what my name is he says, “Mommy” which makes me smile. The other day he came home from day care and asked me if my name was “Biz”? I said it was and he looked at me and smiled and said, “No, its mommy.” I know there are safety reasons that he should know my first and last name, but for now I am going to soak up the “mommy”!

Before I was going to have the “call Dave daddy” talk I decided to do a little observing. When does he call him Dave? Is it all the time? Is it in the same situations? After a few observations, I decided Charlie is a genius and has just adapted to life with his father (as I did about 4 years ago).  Dave has a “magical gift” (that’s how he thinks of it) of being able to tune people out COMPLETELY. I can be standing right in front of him saying, “Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave” but until I say something like, “Dave the house is on fire” he will not even notice me. This is not ALL the time… I would have killed him by now if it was. But you sit that guy in front of a TV or Movie and he is in the “tune-out zone”. Charlie has also observed Dave’s behavior and has adapted, if he says, “daddy, daddy, daddy,” he may get no response. But the minute he says “Dave” he gets a response. Genius if you ask me, especially from a 3 year old. I have decided that Charlie can call Dave “Dave” whenever he wants because I understand his “tune-out” frustration!

I can do WHATEVER I want.

Yesterday I picked Charlie up from school and he was so excited because he was going to a “party” at Grandma Barb’s house. Charlie loves parties, however this was just a movie and popcorn night with Grandma Barb and Papa Dave… either way, he was excited.

I put him in the back seat and we began to drive toward Grandma’s house. Charlie is a VERY observant kid, and he informed me that Grandma Barbs was “that way”, pointing to the left, and our house was “that way”, pointing to the right. Sometimes that kid’s sense of direction amazes me.

Anyway, as we were driving I asked Charlie about his day. He talked a little bit about painting in art and playing with his friends. He asked me about my day and I proceeded to tell him that I unloaded 7 pallets worth of condoms – I have a VERY exciting job! After we were done talking I turned the music up a little so we could enjoy the drive.

Charlie began kicking the back of my seat. I asked him to stop, and he said “no.” I said, “Charlie you need to stop kicking the back of my seat NOW.” He replied, “I can do whatever I want to do.” I was shocked, and I didn’t know what to say so I just said, “no you can’t.” And he said, “oh, ok” and stopped kicking. It was AWESOME… too bad that won’t last forever J

 

Happy New Year

For me a new year always feels like a new start. To some, it seems silly, but for me it has always felt like a new beginning. A perfect day to re-evaluate the last year, take a look at life and decide what makes you happy and what doesn’t make you happy. A time to set goals and decide what the next year will look like. I feel so in control on January 1^st. I know there will be things that will happen throughout the next year that I cannot control, but by focusing on the things I CAN control I will make the most of 2013.

2012 was kind of a crappy year. A lot of things that I could not control took place. I lost my Aunt, and recently lost my Grandpa. Death is not something that I have experienced a lot of before this year, and it doesn’t get any easier. Losing people you love, and seeing others you love in pain is very, very hard. Raising a 3 year old, while I love my baby, has been challenging. Dave and I have learned a lot as parents, and I feel like things are getting easier, but man is 3 though!  Dave and I both got new jobs. Not that getting new jobs was a bad thing, we are both so happy, which has made life a little easier. However the stress of starting a new job was a bit much.

Moving on to 2013, I have set a few goals for the year. Each year I try to set goals and always seem to set way too many. This year, I scaled it back and focused on what I really want to accomplish in 2013.

1-      Register Charlie for Sunday School and attend Church regularly – and tonight I registered Charlie, so Sunday we will be there!

2-      Begin taking piano lessons

3-      Pay extra on our mortgage each month

4-      Make some healthy lifestyle changes (I need to lose 10 pounds and we would like to have another baby, so some changes are in order)

5-      Start a gratitude journal and write in it weekly

6-      Go on more dates with my husband

I will check back in with my progress throughout the year. I wish you all a happy New Year and hope you the best in 2013.

Pockets

I don’t remember exactly when Charlie figured out that his clothes have pockets. It was a while ago, and it was cute. He would walk around the house with his hands in his jeans, smiling ear to ear and it made me smile ear to ear. He looked like a mini Calvin Klein model.

About a week ago Charlie found a new purpose for pockets. It is no longer good enough to just put his hands in his pockets; he has to fill those pockets with something. I have always heard, from other mothers with boys, that they will collect things like sticks and rocks. Charlie does not collect things. Yes, we have a million Matchbox Cars, but no rock collections. I have been so thankful that my house is not full of sticks, rocks, or any other item from nature. But something is changing; I think my house will soon be filled with sticks and rocks. Here’s how it went down….

Charlie and I went outside to play football in the front yard. As soon as we stepped foot in the grass I stepped in dog poop. That is a whole different story about our crappy neighbor, but I will save that for another day. Long story, short – I decided to clean up the dog poop. While I was doing so, Charlie was just hanging out, running around, and doing nothing suspicious looking. We played “football” which involves me throwing the ball, Charlie picking it up, and me pushing him down. After I got about 35 tackles and no one scored any touchdowns, we decided to head inside. We go in, take off our shoes, and I tell Charlie to take his coat off. He takes his coat off and I walk into the living room to find birdseed ALL OVER! I said, “Charlie, what is all of this birdseed doing in the house?” He replied, “It was in my pocket.” I asked, “Why did you put birdseed in your pocket.” And he replied, “Because.”

I think Charlie and I both learned a few lessons here:

1.       Never turn your back on a kid by a bird feeder

2.       Never answer your child’s questions with “because”, because some day they will do it back to you

3.       Never put birdseed in your pockets because mommy will make you use the dust buster and clean it up

I almost decided it would be a good idea to sew all of Charlie’s pockets shut, and then I remembered… I can’t sew.

Judgement

The innocence of a 3 year old is precious. He doesn’t want to hurt people’s feelings, and if/when he does, it is not intentional in any way, shape, or form. The child has NO understanding of being judgmental, or what it feels like to be judged. For his sake, I hope that it is a long time before he ever feels that he is being judged. That being said, Charlie can innocently be very judgmental sometimes.

 Earlier this week, after I picked Charlie up from daycare we were having a nice conversation on the way home about the never-ending construction by our house. I was going the speed limit, we were both buckled up, I was NOT on my cell phone – I was being a responsible driver and obeying the basic traffic rules. Until that light turned yellow. I saw it, was somewhat in a hurry to get home, and in my head I said “Screw it. I’m going for it.” No big deal, it didn’t turn red until we were ¾ the way through the intersection. Then it came, from my sweet little angel in the back seat…

Charlie: Mommy, you just went through red.

Mommy: I know Charlie, it was an accident.

Charlie: Mommy, green means go.

Mommy: Thank you Charlie, I know that.

Charlie: Mommy, red means stop.

Mommy: THANK YOU CHARLIE FOR POINTING THAT OUT TO ME.

 

My gosh. Give me a break kid. I understand that Charlie is a very observant child, and he is pretty darn intelligent, but man it was almost like I wanted to say, “Ya know what kid, I feed you, clothe you, keep you safe, read to you, a little leniency on the red light running would be appreciated.”

For now, I will not worry about my judgmental 3 year old. After he understands the concept (hopefully a long time from now) he and I will have many a chats about being as non-judgmental as possible.

White Lies

Before I became a mother I swore to myself that I was not going to lie to my son, along with many other things that I “wasn’t going to do”. But lying was a big one. I don’t like lying, I don’t like people who you can’t trust, and I believe that people should tell the truth…. no matter how bad it is.

That being said, I have now come to the conclusion that a little white lie is NOT the same as an average sized lie. Little white lies just happen, and sometimes they make life a lot easier. Especially when it comes to kids.

Charlie has entered the “why” phase of life. Which I actually really like. I like to explain things to him and I like to teach him new things, even if he really doesn’t actually care to hear about the “why” when he asks. My trouble is, when I don’t know the answer to “why”… that’s where I get stuck. I often find myself referring back to daddy with a statement much like this one, “You know what Charlie, that is a good question and mommy doesn’t know. We will have to ask Daddy when we get home.”  Like, why is there fog in the morning? Why do the clouds make rain? Why is the car wet in the morning? I am sure at one point in my life I knew the answers to these questions, but having not used my 8^th grade science knowledge in say 12 years, I have forgotten.

But sometimes it is just easier to tell a little white lie. I know I am probably not going to get the mother of the year award for this one, but it is the truth. I bet not a single one of you mom’s out there can say that you NEVER told your kid at least ONE little white lie.

So here is my most recent little white lie…. Gum.

Charlie has started to chew gum, which is fine, I let him start. However, when he was first chewing gum, and every once in a while after that he swallows it rather than spitting it out. Now, my entire life I have been told not to swallow gum. I’m sure it is not good to swallow, but I really don’t know WHY? So when Charlie asked, “why can’t I swallow it?” I lied. I straight up came up with a crazy lie, and here it is:

“Charlie, you cannot swallow gum because it will go into your belly, grow, and you will have gum growing out of your butt.”

Haha… so that was a pretty BIG little white lie, but I was totally put on the spot. Today at Walgreens Charlie got some gum and stated, “we can’t swallow it because it will grow out of my butt if I do.” Charlie, I apologize in advance for the day when you are with your friends and you learn that gum will not actually grow out of your butt. You will most likely be laughed at, and you can blame me,  and even be made at me if you want. But for now, it works.