Pockets

I don’t remember exactly when Charlie figured out that his clothes have pockets. It was a while ago, and it was cute. He would walk around the house with his hands in his jeans, smiling ear to ear and it made me smile ear to ear. He looked like a mini Calvin Klein model.

About a week ago Charlie found a new purpose for pockets. It is no longer good enough to just put his hands in his pockets; he has to fill those pockets with something. I have always heard, from other mothers with boys, that they will collect things like sticks and rocks. Charlie does not collect things. Yes, we have a million Matchbox Cars, but no rock collections. I have been so thankful that my house is not full of sticks, rocks, or any other item from nature. But something is changing; I think my house will soon be filled with sticks and rocks. Here’s how it went down….

Charlie and I went outside to play football in the front yard. As soon as we stepped foot in the grass I stepped in dog poop. That is a whole different story about our crappy neighbor, but I will save that for another day. Long story, short – I decided to clean up the dog poop. While I was doing so, Charlie was just hanging out, running around, and doing nothing suspicious looking. We played “football” which involves me throwing the ball, Charlie picking it up, and me pushing him down. After I got about 35 tackles and no one scored any touchdowns, we decided to head inside. We go in, take off our shoes, and I tell Charlie to take his coat off. He takes his coat off and I walk into the living room to find birdseed ALL OVER! I said, “Charlie, what is all of this birdseed doing in the house?” He replied, “It was in my pocket.” I asked, “Why did you put birdseed in your pocket.” And he replied, “Because.”

I think Charlie and I both learned a few lessons here:

1.       Never turn your back on a kid by a bird feeder

2.       Never answer your child’s questions with “because”, because some day they will do it back to you

3.       Never put birdseed in your pockets because mommy will make you use the dust buster and clean it up

I almost decided it would be a good idea to sew all of Charlie’s pockets shut, and then I remembered… I can’t sew.

Judgement

The innocence of a 3 year old is precious. He doesn’t want to hurt people’s feelings, and if/when he does, it is not intentional in any way, shape, or form. The child has NO understanding of being judgmental, or what it feels like to be judged. For his sake, I hope that it is a long time before he ever feels that he is being judged. That being said, Charlie can innocently be very judgmental sometimes.

 Earlier this week, after I picked Charlie up from daycare we were having a nice conversation on the way home about the never-ending construction by our house. I was going the speed limit, we were both buckled up, I was NOT on my cell phone – I was being a responsible driver and obeying the basic traffic rules. Until that light turned yellow. I saw it, was somewhat in a hurry to get home, and in my head I said “Screw it. I’m going for it.” No big deal, it didn’t turn red until we were ¾ the way through the intersection. Then it came, from my sweet little angel in the back seat…

Charlie: Mommy, you just went through red.

Mommy: I know Charlie, it was an accident.

Charlie: Mommy, green means go.

Mommy: Thank you Charlie, I know that.

Charlie: Mommy, red means stop.

Mommy: THANK YOU CHARLIE FOR POINTING THAT OUT TO ME.

 

My gosh. Give me a break kid. I understand that Charlie is a very observant child, and he is pretty darn intelligent, but man it was almost like I wanted to say, “Ya know what kid, I feed you, clothe you, keep you safe, read to you, a little leniency on the red light running would be appreciated.”

For now, I will not worry about my judgmental 3 year old. After he understands the concept (hopefully a long time from now) he and I will have many a chats about being as non-judgmental as possible.

White Lies

Before I became a mother I swore to myself that I was not going to lie to my son, along with many other things that I “wasn’t going to do”. But lying was a big one. I don’t like lying, I don’t like people who you can’t trust, and I believe that people should tell the truth…. no matter how bad it is.

That being said, I have now come to the conclusion that a little white lie is NOT the same as an average sized lie. Little white lies just happen, and sometimes they make life a lot easier. Especially when it comes to kids.

Charlie has entered the “why” phase of life. Which I actually really like. I like to explain things to him and I like to teach him new things, even if he really doesn’t actually care to hear about the “why” when he asks. My trouble is, when I don’t know the answer to “why”… that’s where I get stuck. I often find myself referring back to daddy with a statement much like this one, “You know what Charlie, that is a good question and mommy doesn’t know. We will have to ask Daddy when we get home.”  Like, why is there fog in the morning? Why do the clouds make rain? Why is the car wet in the morning? I am sure at one point in my life I knew the answers to these questions, but having not used my 8^th grade science knowledge in say 12 years, I have forgotten.

But sometimes it is just easier to tell a little white lie. I know I am probably not going to get the mother of the year award for this one, but it is the truth. I bet not a single one of you mom’s out there can say that you NEVER told your kid at least ONE little white lie.

So here is my most recent little white lie…. Gum.

Charlie has started to chew gum, which is fine, I let him start. However, when he was first chewing gum, and every once in a while after that he swallows it rather than spitting it out. Now, my entire life I have been told not to swallow gum. I’m sure it is not good to swallow, but I really don’t know WHY? So when Charlie asked, “why can’t I swallow it?” I lied. I straight up came up with a crazy lie, and here it is:

“Charlie, you cannot swallow gum because it will go into your belly, grow, and you will have gum growing out of your butt.”

Haha… so that was a pretty BIG little white lie, but I was totally put on the spot. Today at Walgreens Charlie got some gum and stated, “we can’t swallow it because it will grow out of my butt if I do.” Charlie, I apologize in advance for the day when you are with your friends and you learn that gum will not actually grow out of your butt. You will most likely be laughed at, and you can blame me,  and even be made at me if you want. But for now, it works.